Advocating For Your Dog
Why do we feel an obligation to be nicer to the stranger on the street than we do to our best friend?
When we choose to be caretakers of animals we make a contract with them. That contract says you will not put your dog into an uncomfortable/unnecessary situation. What we mean by that is if we are in public with our dogs and somebody wants to pet or interact with your dog, it is your duty to know your dog well enough, and read your dog’s body language to determine if he is comfortable with the person and wants to be petted. Many people say “all dogs love me”, but that’s really not the case. What it really means is that they intentionally push themselves on dogs they don’t know without regard for how each individual dog feels about them, and so far, they haven’t been bitten.
Why is it that when we are in public with our dogs and someone wants their kid, their dog, or themselves to interact with your dog they often don’t take “No” for an answer. They may even ask to pet your dog, but they do it while they are reaching for your dog and expecting a “yes”. But when you say “no”, they act as if you’re the bad guy. When we allow a stranger to influence our relationship and tempt us to break the contract we’ve made to protect our dog, we are putting that relationship at risk. We are telling our dog that they need to fend for themselves because we are throwing them to the wolves. That may mean your dog will need to growl or snap at someone to tell them to back off. Then that makes your dog look like a bad dog when he isn’t.
The reason we allow this is because we don’t want to appear rude. However, the actual rudeness in this scenario is not you telling the person “no, you may not pet my dog”. The rudeness is them behaving as if it is their right to touch your dog, and then getting angry with you for not letting them. Imagine someone asking to smell your hair. Too personal for a stranger to ask? Yes, of course it is. It’s the same thing for the dog when a stranger insists on petting him.
This isn’t just about people wanting to interact with our dogs, it’s also about other dogs. When someone is with their dog and you are out with your dog they don’t always “have to say hi”. Not all dogs get along with all other dogs, just as all people don’t get along with all other people. Just because dogs are social animals doesn’t mean they are social with everyone. We don’t walk along in a mall shaking hands and hugging every person we pass, yet some people expect all dogs to want to do that.
Here are a couple of examples of nice ways to respond when someone asks to pet your dog (you can change the wording when they want their dog to say hi):
“I’d rather you didn’t as he’s a bit nervous around strangers. Thank you so much for asking though.”
“Thank you for asking but he’s not comfortable in this situation. I can tell you’re a real dog lover though, so can you help me out by tossing this treat on the ground in front of him?”
“He’s a new dog to us so I really don’t know how he’ll respond, so it’s probably best that you not try to pet him right now.”
And here are a few options for those people who won’t take “no” for an answer:
“He has ringworm.” (for kids)
“He has kennel cough.” (for dogs, though the ringworm would work, too)
Here is a great article by Suzanne Clothier on a similar subject.
Transcript
Advocating for Your Dog
Announcer: Welcome to Doggie Dish, where two of LA's best dog trainers serve up a hearty helping of dog topics. At the end of this podcast, we'll provide information on how to contact our trainers, and now here they are.
Kim: Hi. This is Kim Rinehardt with The K9 Educator.
Laura: and Laura Bourhenne with Animal Attraction Unlimited. Welcome back.
Kim: Yes, we've decided to start podcasting again after a pretty long hiatus. So we've got lots of things to say now.
Laura: We've been thinking. That's always a scary thing.
Kim: Well, I question that we've been thinking, but whatever. Living maybe, let's hope we've been thinking. So what did we want to talk about today?
Laura: I think we wanted to talk about being your dog's advocate.
Kim: Very important.
Laura: Yes. So what do we mean by that, Kim?
Kim: Well for me being your dog's advocate, which could be many things, but I think the context that we're trying to talk about right now is advocating for your dog when you have them out and about and in contact with other people and dogs and in different places, basically handling issues and problems that come up proactively, rather than sitting back and waiting for your dog to try to handle things that may or may not be comfortable for them to control.
Laura: That's a really good point. A lot of times we end up putting our dogs in positions that they really are not comfortable being in because we don't want to offend the person or other dog or whoever happens to be there, and above all else, we need to be our dog's best friend, and we need to be there for them and not put them in those situations,
Kim: Right. So prioritizing the well-being, not just the physical well-being, but also the emotional and intellectual well-being of our animals over social etiquette, which, for the most part, it tends to go the other direction. For the most part, when people are out and around other people, they're so concerned about behaving in a way that they believe is socially not acceptable, because it's socially acceptable to advocate for your dog, but in a way that will buy them the favor of other people and be sure not to step on the toes or step on anybody else's sensibilities that they tend to forget that their first obligation, in my opinion, is, and I think yours, to the little creature that they have on the other end of their leash who doesn't have a voice, who doesn't have an option, and who, if they are left to their own devices, may handle a social situation in a way that we find undesirable, but if we didn't leave them any choice, then we really don't have much to say about that.
Laura: And you know, it's interesting that we're bringing up this topic. Today. I was visiting my father, and he lives in one of those communities for people older than we are.
Kim: Hard to believe that exists. But okay.
Laura: And we were walking out his door, we were going to the movies or something, and and one of his neighbors came up. He was walking his dog, nice, cute little dog, very, lovely dog. And the man's going, Oh, go ahead and pet him. He loves people. And I'm looking at this dog going, No. He may love people that he knows, but this dog does not want me to pet him. He let my dad pet him. He knows my dad, but even that, he wasn't 100% comfortable with right? But the man kept telling me, go ahead and pet him. Go ahead and pet him. Or no, he loves people. Go ahead and pet him. And pet him, and I'm looking at this dog going, No, I'm not going to pet your dog,
Kim: Right. And I think that maybe that in that set of circumstances, that's really somebody who needs to learn more about their own pet, and certainly advocating for your pet means learning more about your dog and learning more about the signals that your dog is sending and the things that your dog is saying to you on a daily basis. We tend to take our dogs out on a leash and act kind of like they're our little decorator item, our little house plant on a leash. So we think about their beauty and the fact that they're really cool and all the things that we love about them, we tend to forget, sometimes, not everybody, but we tend to forget that they have feelings and ideas and thought patterns and reactions of their own, and that while we may feel very proud of them because they're really pretty and we might want somebody to be able to pet them, the dog could be very uncomfortable. So it's in our best interest to take some time and learn about our dog's body language so that we can understand how our dog actually feels about this and then take appropriate steps. Because I think if you had been on the other end of the leash for that dog that you're talking about, you would have done what?
Laura: I would have said, You know what, he's not real comfortable with strangers. This is, if the person attempted or wanted, showed interest in petting my dog, I would say, You know what, he's not real comfortable with strangers. So if you don't mind, I'll just keep him back here.
Kim: And you take care of your dog over the possible offending of I'm assuming a stranger or your dad knows this guy?
Laura: Oh, my dad knows this guy.
Kim: Okay, well, hopefully, that would make it less likely that you're gonna offend them. But it does happen that sometimes when you're out in public, you run into people who think they know your pet better than you do. And I know this has happened to pretty much every dog trainer that I know, because it's like, it's a hot topic for us to complain about, but I think it happens to a lot of pet people too. You have your dog out and your dog isn't terribly comfortable. Maybe your dog isn't you know, your dog gets into a group of people. He's not that comfortable. Well, first of all, advocating for your dog, you have to first say, Okay, why did I take my dog into a group of people? Was this an avoidable circumstance, or was I pushing my desires and prioritizing my desires over that of the dog? Because maybe if you had your dog at the vet clinic, you don't have a choice, right, because the dog needs veterinary attention. But maybe if you took your dog to a street fair and you have a dog, and you have a dog that's not terribly comfortable around of a lot of other people, then that decision rests with you, and you've already, no matter what you do once you get there, you've already pretty much not prioritized your dog and not advocated for your dog, because you've put your dog In a situation where there's going to be multiple situations that are going to make him uncomfortable.
Laura: I agree, and you know that reminds me of the times that we have volunteered for big adoption events where the public is allowed to come and bring their dogs while they're looking for looking at or just enjoying the doggy ambience at these big, huge adoption festivals, and they bring their dogs, and it's so uncomfortable, I know for both of us to see these poor dogs that are just going "I do not understand what's going on. I'm not comfortable here. I just don't want to be here". And the people are walking around oblivious, seemingly oblivious, to their dogs and what their dogs want. They go and they they hear adoption event, or just doggy event of any kind, and they say, I have a dog. I'll take my dog there. And it turns out not to be the best thing for the dog. And they don't realize that. They don't know that.
Kim: Or even if they have a social dog, but they take them out. I know that you and I've worked a couple of booths before where they've had we've seen dogs out wandering around the booths, and although maybe the dog might have been social in the right set of circumstances, being out in the incredible heat with bands playing in the background and things happening that are really outside of the dog's normal lifestyle and so their comfort zone, they really haven't had enough exposure to make it comfortable and and, you know, intense heat, I mean, I'm not sure how you make a dog comfortable, and that is just hot, and there's a failure to advocate for them. But let's say first, it starts with making a good choice. First, when you go to snap the leash on, you have to think about, wait a minute, is this something that I'm doing that is appropriate for my dog? Is this something that I'm going we're going to do that is going to be comfortable for my dog. What's my anticipation of this event, knowing my dog and listening to my dog and paying attention to my dog, rather than just going, Oh, it sounds like fun, therefore my dog will have fun too. So let's say you go to an event that would be fairly comfortable for your dog, or maybe you're in a situation where you don't have a choice, like I said, the vet clinic, you take your dog to the vet clinic because your dog needs to go to the vet. Maybe dog isn't sick, maybe it's just for standard stuff, but you need to take your dog to the vet, and now you're in a situation where that dog isn't terribly comfortable, let's say, around other animals. Maybe you have a dog that's real social around people, but when it gets around other animals, it gets really uncomfortable. Then you get to the place where you start, you see people. Sometimes I see this, and I'm not doubting people, you know, I think they make these mistakes because they don't know better. Know any better, and that's hopefully why we do what we're doing right now, is to help turn on a little light bulb, to say, hey, you know, maybe you want to give this some thought
Laura: And to get people to pay more attention to their dog and their dog's body language and what the dog is actually telling them.
Kim: Right. So let's say they get out and there are several other dogs in a situation that they're in, and their dog maybe is not that in to being super social with every dog there. Let's take the vet clinic out of that. That's a bad example. Well, you know, honestly, there are people there, in my experience, who don't understand this, but let's take that one out of it. Let's assume that people think, Okay, well, you have a potential to run into some dangerous pathogens or whatever. So let's just say that we take our dogs out to a place where there are other dogs, and maybe our dog is social in the right set of circumstances, maybe they like a nice, quiet, comfortable, easy going dog that's going to come up and sniff their butt, and they're going to sniff its butt, and it's going to be that kind of acceptable canine interaction. But then there's another dog, and it's a wild and wooly, happy little dog, and it's racing around and it's jumping off the walls, and actually, Sarah Reuche, I believe, is her last name. She did a blog post about this. And she called them canine Tarzans, which I will forever love, because I think that's a great way to explain it. But you have, you know, one of those dogs that's really excitable and doesn't draw a lot of boundaries, and it comes in and it starts pushing in really hard and fast on your dog, meaning pushing into their space, body slamming them, trying to mount them, which I recently got into a conversation about, it's actually our jobs to step in and advocate for our dogs and say, Okay, I know for me, my my deal with my dogs sort of in your contract. Yeah, is I don't want you to fight. I don't want you picking fights with other dogs. I don't want you getting into to physical altercations with their dogs. My end of the bargain is, their end of the bargain is, don't, don't get involved in that, you know, defer to my judgment, or move away, or take another path.
Laura: You mean turn the other cheek?
Kim: But, well, in a dog sense, kind of Yeah, yeah, move away, yeah, decide to move away from it. But then my end of that bargain is, if you start to move away and that dog won't leave you alone, I'm going to step in and protect you. I'm going to make sure that I move that dog off of you and that I get that dog off of your case you don't have to. I'm not going to leave you in a position where you feel like you have to defend yourself. So it's another way to advocate for your dog is to say, I can see this is an uncomfortable situation. I'm not going to wait until it breaks into a fight. I'm actually going to step in at that moment where I can see you're starting to be uncomfortable. Go ahead.
Laura: I'm just I'm just listening. I mean, I'm sitting here nodding my head, which, of course, nobody can see, because this is a podcast and not a video cast. But I completely agree. I completely agree. You know, I do allow my dogs I'm slightly different than you, in that I will allow my dogs to tell another dog to get out of their face if they're uncomfortable. But if I see like, and this is like, maybe from a distance, you know, they're allowed to say, Get out of my face. They're allowed to say, You're too close. They're allowed to do that, but that's kind of all they have to do, because by then I'm there, I'm stepping in. I'm saying, You know what? I'm helping to back your dog off, you know? But like with my first pit bull and with Stoney, my second pit bull, and with Petey, my bull terrier, they are not allowed to do that, my other dogs are, because I know their potentials, you know? I mean, if I know that the other dog doesn't mean anything by it or whatever, then I'll, then I will say to my dog, you know, don't that's okay. You know that dog doesn't mean anything by it. But if I know that the other dog is being a little too pushy, and let's say I know the other dog,
Kim: Right, which is a different set of circumstances.
Laura: Totally different. Not a dog that I met on the street, whatever, not that I introduce my dogs to dogs that we meet on the street, but that's a whole nother podcast as to why that is. But with a dog that I know that, like, let's say I know that it's a little bit pushy and it's never been told off before, or it's been told off, and it doesn't take it seriously, then I will allow my dog to say, Hey, back off. And I mean, it okay. Then, then that's another that's another case. But with my, my bully breed dogs, they have never been allowed to do that, because I did not want them to think that fighting was ever okay.
Kim: Well, and you kind of have to hold, unfortunately, bull breeds to a higher standard, because they have, they do face a very big uphill climb in terms of the media and the way that they're viewed by a large percent of our population. So I'm the same way. I draw the lines differently. You know, I don't think we are so different, because I absolutely will allow my dogs to back a dog off when I know what the likely response is going to be off of that dog, but I'm talking more about being out in places where you come up against strange dogs. You know, I don't take my dogs to dog parks. Everybody knows that, because I'm, I'm pretty I have a very bad attitude about dog parks,
Laura: I do too, by the way, because you don't know who you're going to run into, a lot of people take their dogs to dog parks, and we have a whole podcast about dog parks, if you want to listen to that, but a lot of people take their dog parks to try to fix their
Kim: dogs to dog parks.
Laura: What did I say?
Kim: A lot of people take their dog parks. Oh, and some people park their dogs. You just never know what's gonna happen when you go out.
Laura: A lot of people take their dogs to dog parks so that they can socialize them. They take their under socialized dogs to dog parks, using your dog to socialize them. And that's like I said, that's a whole nother. Well, there is a whole you just don't know what you're gonna run into,
Kim: But I do see people occasionally. I have to go to a dog park for whatever, and maybe then working with a client, or I have something that I'm trying to assess for somebody or whatever, and I'll go and I'll watch the interactions of dog parks, and I see people really not advocating for their dogs. I see them taking the attitude, oh, they can work it out, which I have to tell you, I agree with you. They will work it out. They may not work it out in a way that is comfortable for you, and then you have very little to say about it, because if you haven't advocated, if you haven't stepped in and advocated for your dog and made sure that you controlled that situation sufficiently, then if they get into a big fight, and their way of working it out is to tear a few chunks out of each other, then you're right.
Laura: And you stood there and did nothing. They'll work it out, and it'll be okay. And then you stood there and did nothing. And what does that tell your dog about how you have his back?
Kim: I agree and what happens and when it ends up happening, and this is why I agree with you, that when you say that if I'm in a situation where I know the other dogs and I know that they're pushy and that they need a lesson. I will allow my dogs to make those to draw those kinds of boundaries. But when I'm out in a situation where we're coming up against strange dogs, where I don't know what's going to happen, where maybe my dog turns around and tells the other dog, Hey, back off. And the other dog says, "you can't do that to me", and they go after them, and they get and they get tough. What it does is it breaks down my dog's confidence in our relationship, because now we've been in a situation where my dog understands you're on your own, pal, you're going to have to handle this and if something goes after you, so be it. That's what's going to end up happening. I think that creates reactivity in dogs. I think that when you have a situation where you don't take care of your dog, where you don't read their signals, where you don't step in and go, Okay, you don't have to do it in a melodramatic way. It doesn't have to be excitement. It doesn't have to be No, no, we're not going to do this because, of course, that would make reactivity worse, because you're being reactive. But where you step in and draw a boundary and say, Okay, that's enough, and move another dog off of your dog, because they're pushing in.
Laura:
And most of the time, all you have to do is walk in between, just walk at the other dog, walk towards the other dog to back them off, because those types of dogs that you're talking about are not used to a person stepping in, right? They're not used to it. And so they may have an eye on your dog, and then suddenly they see legs there and a person involved. They go, oh, oh, right, this I might as well go pick on somebody else's dog who's whose owner isn't advocating for them, right? Because you're going to be there.
Kim: And you know, some dogs will do that, some dogs won't. I mean, sometimes you do have to push in harder. I would say my way of pushing in harder is to get my dog the heck out of there. I mean, that's what I would do. If I'm in a situation where I can't block a dog away from my dog, then I'm going to get my dog out of there, because I'm going to figure this is not the healthiest place for us to be, and especially
Laura: Especially if the owner of the other dog doesn't notice, or doesn't care, doesn't step in and go, Okay, well, obviously she doesn't want my dog bothering her dog, so I'm going to redirect my dog someplace else.
Kim: So that's kind of one of the typical ideas of situations that we've seen with dog to dog things. But to get back to the people to dog things, to expand on the theme of dog and human interaction, where we said, you know, you go out in public with your dog and somebody comes up and they want to pet your dog, you have a dog that's not terribly comfortable, and you need to draw a boundary. You need to say, no, I'm sorry. My dog is not that comfortable. And you and I both know when you get out in around people, sometimes people think they know better, and they go, no, no, dog. Dogs love me.
Laura: I have never heard that before, never! haha.
Kim: Things that I've never heard that before sets my teeth on edge. But and so you have somebody that just starts to push in, it is your job to make sure that they back off of your dog. And so if you have to turn around and walk away, if you have to be and I mean, I hate to say this, but if you have to risk rudeness, I personally think it's very important that you take care of your dog first and foremost. Because if that person pushes past your dog's threshold and your dog decides to snap at them. Trust me when I tell you, you are every bit as responsible as you would be if that person hadn't pushed past their thresholds. It is your responsibility to take care of your dog. It is your responsibility to make sure that your dog doesn't have to do things like say back off right now, or else I'm going to have to bite you. Go ahead.
Laura: I was just going to say that we are so concerned about being rude to some stranger on the street who's trying to, who's trying to push themselves or their child onto my dog. Mean, there are plenty of dogs out there that are great with adults, but not so much with kids, you know, and they're trying to, oh no, just let him pet him. No, just let him pet him. And, you know, against your better judgment, you go, Okay, go ahead. And then it ends badly. Then your dog starts to anticipate, and that could lead to a whole nother problem that, oh, this always ends badly, so I might as well be defensive from the get go, but at the same time, you know, here we are being concerned about being polite to somebody we don't even know, without even taking into consideration how rude it is of this person that we don't know to be, and that our dog does, and that our dog doesn't know to be pushing themselves on us and to be to be so set in their goal of petting my dog, that's rude. I'm sorry if I say no, don't pet my dog, and you continue to allow. Your child or yourself or whatever, or even your dog, to come up to my dog after I have said, No, thank you. That's what's rude
Kim: Well, and it's interesting that we align ourselves more with the stranger than we do with our best friend, who is presumably what our dog is our best friend. So we actually take the side of the stranger over because we don't want to, because we don't want to step on to toes and we don't want to come off as rude, and so we align themselves with them, with the stranger, and ourselves with the stranger, instead of aligning ourselves with our dogs. And our dogs are aware of this, just so that you understand. Our dogs know this. They know when we throw them to the wolves. They're aware of it. They know when we have chosen to step back and allow an uncomfortable situation to come up. And I think you're going to find that people who have the least react. I have very non reactive dogs. So my dogs are not reactive at all. And I credit the fact that I do step in and I do take control of things with why they don't feel like they need to be reactive. They don't need to because they've learned that they can trust me to step in and to advocate for them.
Laura: Yeah, because you're never going to put them in that situation. But you know, if you look at it, that Who are you going to go home and look at, right? Who are you going to interact with for the next, however, many years? You're going to interact with your dog. You're not going to interact with a stranger that you just met on the street.
Kim: But you know what the truth is, we've both had to be in situations like this. Sometimes I've handled it in a less than polite way, and sometimes I've handled it in a polite way. So I'm going to pretend that the less than polite things have never happened, because I would never be rude to anybody, and I'm just going to talk today about how you can politely advocate for your dog, because I think that that maybe should be where we go with this is helping people understand that there are polite ways to do it. So one of the ways, as Laura said, you know, somebody comes up and they want to say hello to your dog, and your dog's not that comfortable you you throw out the truth. You say, Hey, listen, you know, I wish you wouldn't. He's really not that comfortable with it. But thank you. This will always take the sting out of that, by the way, if you say I wish you wouldn't, he's really not that comfortable. But thank you for your interest. I can tell you're a real dog lover. You know what? You can get their cooperation by acknowledging something good about them. You really can.
Laura: Oh, yeah, that's a good point.
Kim: You can get them on your side. So sometimes I'll say to people, he really can't, he really can't say hi to you right now because I'm training him. But you know what? I appreciate your interest. Or can you do me a favor? Can you just take this piece of food and just toss it on the ground for me? And then they toss the food on the ground, and the dog picks it up, and I say, thank you. You've really helped me, and they walk away from it not feeling like you've been rude and rejected them, because you've created a really positive interaction between you and them, and you've still gotten your way. Yay.
Laura: We love it when we get our way.
Kim: Well, yeah, us dog trainers are control freaks, so that's just the truth, but that's one way so another though we've because you and I talked about this before we started this little machine up, and another way that is possibly a little less friendly, but equally effective.
Laura: Well, in this usually has to do with kids. And, you know, parents who, who like, just let their kids continue to try to and as much as you try to get your dog out of the situation, because you're trying to be nice, and you're saying, you know, please, please, don't please, you know, it's not great. And I mean, and I understand that kids are impulsive and kids do things, but and that they may still continue to try to pet your dog, even if the the almost said owner, even if the parent is there telling their child over and over and over again, don't touch the dog, don't touch the dog, but not moving again to stop them. Yes, there how many times you gonna say that before you actually do something about it? Because the parents don't see that it's that important to stop their child from doing it.
Kim: So to make it a priority for the parent.
Laura: Yes, this is how I do it. I say, oh, you know what? He has ringworm. And I will do it also, as far as dogs go, if somebody continues to allow their dog to come up, I'll say, You know what he's got kennel cough. And that will make them grab their child or dog in a very, very quick fashion.
Kim: And you know what? It sounds pretty unfriendly. As I listen back to it. It sounds pretty unfriendly, but honestly, I've done the same thing when I know that I am up against somebody who is just not going to listen, they're just not going to listen, they're not going to be respectful of my wishes, then I need to figure out a way to make it a priority for them, and the best way to make anything a priority for anybody is to make it have some impact on their life. And so if you give them the idea that interacting with my dog is going to, you know, negatively impact your life, boy, you'd be surprised how quickly you get a turnaround.
Laura: Yeah, how quickly they grab their child and say, Oh, no, now we really need to. Stay away from that dog. I was having this discussion with a client of mine, and I said, Well, he said, you know, how do we keep people from allowing their child to come up and pet our dog? And their dog wasn't like reactive to the point of, you know, lashing out and whatever, but the tolerance was, was just a little bit low. And if they turn around, because, you know, I mean, there are the times that you that you turn around and see that some child is there petting your dog, because you just don't have eyes in the back of your head, and depending on where you are, and I told them that, you know, I would look at the parent and go, Oh, gee, I wish you'd asked first, because my dog has a ringworm, and then because, then that also kind of plants the seed that, gee, from now on, maybe we should have our child asks, yeah, or maybe we should ask if our child can pet a dog.
Kim: And I think some people would be uncomfortable with that approach, which I can totally understand, because you don't want the kid to come up with ringworm and the people to be then knocking at your door going, Hey, your dog gave my child ringworm, whatever. But I do think that you can use some variation on that theme. I think if you're not going to state it as a fact. You can say, You know what? He's got something we're not sure if it's ringworm or we're well, you know what? People will ask me, does the dog bite? And I'll say, I don't know. He might.
Laura: Given the right or given the right or wrong circumstance.
Kim: Of course. But rather than go into that kind of explanation, which frankly, then requires a more lengthy explanation, because people don't just take that at face value. They'll say, Oh no, I have known dogs that didn't bite because they don't really understand what you're talking about. So you can say, You know what? I don't know he might. Don't be so worried to paint your dog into a bad light. I think it's more important to advocate for your dog than it is to be worried about putting your dog in a bad light. And recently, I was at the park with one of my clients, and we were trying to work on the dog, on her dog with impulse control. Dog was doing beautifully, and a lady showed up with a little, young labrador puppy on a leash and kept walking the dog directly at us, and then the leash would break, and the dog would run over and jump all over the dog that we were working and obviously this caused a big problem. And and so, you know, to minimize the problem with the dog that we were working at, we, of course, just released her to say hello to the other dog. But about the third time it happened when basically, the top of my head was getting ready to blow off because I was so angry. And she came up and one of the kids said, Oh, can we pet the dog? And I said, No, she has rabies, which, of course, isn't true. And you know, I of course, you would need to be careful in saying something like that, but I had pretty much had it. I mean, I was worried, and my client died. She said, Oh, you really know how to scare people. I said, You know what? It wasn't working. Yeah, asking them to stop and making and, you know, asking them to hold on to their dog wasn't working. Yeah? And I have to say that was the last time the little dog came. Miraculously, she was able to, well, she removed the dog. She didn't keep it there. She kept she kept it right by us as the leash kept breaking and the dog kept rushing over into our dog. The point is, though, and that dog wasn't going to cause any damage. You can tell I was just a wiggly puppy. But you know what? I don't know how healthy That puppy is. Yeah, I don't know what the situation is with that puppy. So there's more to think about there than just is it going to be an interaction that my dog is going to get damaged from psychologically. I don't know what kind of care they've taken to that dog. I know that they can't be bothered to put a collar on the dog. That works. So, you know, then I have to question, okay, well, what other things have you let slide that are really, really important. The point is just the importance of stepping up and taking some control. You don't have to be reactive, because this can be taken overboard, you know, this could be overboard where people become so protective of their dogs that they get crazy. But I see so often people on the street with dogs, and somebody else will say, my dogs will are friendly, and they'll let another dog rush up into their dog. And sure enough, their dogs aren't that friendly. I have this happen with clients all the time. Oh yeah, me and go, You know what? This lady said, that her dogs are really friendly. And the dogs ran over, and there were three of them. And then them, and then they attacked my dog. And then they say, oh, but that hardly ever happens, Or that that, or they don't say anything. They're just real, they just act surprised. You know, it's happened before, but that's not really the point. The point is, you know, taking control of the situation and understanding that you don't know what's going to happen. Just because somebody says something doesn't make it true. You don't know what's going to happen. And maybe picking and choosing the animal, the other animals that your dog comes into contact with, or the people that your dog comes into contact with, is smart so that your dog, you don't risk your dog having a really negative experience
Laura: with you standing there, allowing it to happen. And another thing you can do, as far as whether it's dogs or people, no matter how long you've had your dog, you can always say, You know what, we just got him. We don't know much about him.
Kim: That's a very good idea.
Laura: We just, you know, we just rescued him. We don't know much about his history. I don't know how he is with children, or I don't know how he is with. Other dogs. I don't know how he is with people.
Kim: I would suggest that if you're going to say that, though you think, and you watch the person that you're talking to, because sometimes when you say we don't know, they think they do know, and they will tell you, Oh, I can tell you that it's going to be a nice dog or whatever. You just really have to be willing to step it up to the place where you can get somebody to back up. The thing that works best with me, I mean, as much as I get a laugh out of the things that we've talked about, the thing that does work best with me is asking for their help, because you can usually get people to help. The exception of that rule is the person who thinks they know how to help you do what you're doing better than you know what you're doing. Yeah, they've watched a little bit too much TV, and they're going to come in and show you how to be dominant over your dog. Okay, go away now. Yeah, that's a situation where citronella spray comes in handy. We haven't really talked about. There are some things that you can do to keep yourself safe.
Kim: If you take out a spray, some kind of spray, a canister, and you have it in your hand, and you say you need to stay away. He is not predictable with people, people will usually back off. They don't know what you have, right? It's citronella. And by the way, citronella spray is really helpful for backing dogs off of your dog if you need to. So in that situation where you're walking through the neighborhood and a dog breaks from three houses down and comes barreling up to you at 1000 miles an hour, and you're kind of freaked out about what could potentially happen here, as I have been, and I don't feel like just waiting to see if they can sort it out. Citronella spray is a really good thing to have on hand. Yeah, sold under the names, what spray shield?
Laura: I think Spray Shield, I think is, is what it is.
Kim: Now, I think we probably have kind of said what we wanted to say about this.
Laura:
I think so I'm sure there's going to be something else that you know, that I'm going to remember and smack myself in the head for.
Kim: Yeah, and if you don't do it, I will.
Laura: But the point is, you know what? We want to be our dog's best friend. We want to be we want to be there for our dogs. We want to be the person that our dog can rely on. We don't want to hang them out to dry.
Kim: For one thing, you just want to be that. I agree, from a personal standpoint, that's just who I want to be. That's who I want to be in my dog's eyes. But actually, from a behavioral standpoint, it really is helpful to be that person, because then when something comes up that the dog is not that comfortable with they tend to do more to defer to your judgment. If you have been their advocate, they tend to trust you to take care of things. The world that our dog walks through is largely a human, controlled world, and so there's a lot of things that make dogs very uncomfortable, and if we prove ourselves as somebody who will advocate for them, who will be there to help them when there's a problem, we stand a much better chance of them deferring to our judgment when something comes up that makes them uncomfortable.
Laura: Right. And I do want to say that, you know, notice that with the exception of the Spray Shield, the citronella spray, all of the things that we have suggested, like saying dog has a rabies, but you know, nothing has been over the top. I mean, when, when you're saying something like that, you're not getting over the top. You're not getting reactive, which then conveys to your dog, right? Because, let's say you have a slightly reactive dog, or a potentially reactive dog, if you get hysterical in chasing somebody away or from your dog or angry, then you're sending that signal to your dog. Oh, this is how we treat another dog coming at us. This is how we treat a child when they're coming to pet me
Kim: or an adult, exactly yes, a stranger in the park or whatever, right
Laura: But the more calmly we can handle it, the less reactive our dog is going to be.
Kim: Right, because the less reactive they need to be, we aren't throwing that reactivity down the leash at them. We're setting an example that's right, leading by example, which is really important when you have a dog. So So I guess we're done, huh?
Laura: I think so.
Kim: All right, so I think that about wraps it up, although, as Laura said, we'll be beating ourselves over the head later when we figure out the things that we didn't say. So this is Kim Reinhardt with The K9 Educator
Laura: And Laura Bourhenne from Animal Attraction Unlimited. Thanks again for joining us. Thank you.
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